R-I-I-I-I-P!!!! Volume II

Okay, if you are a faithful reader of the crazy that spews out of here you will have heard about the ripped skirt. Here is what happened to me this week that I forgot to Blog about.

I went shopping on Sunday afternoon. I felt like getting out of the house and replacing a pair of navy jogging pants that I had worn through so I hopped in the car and bopped into Wal-Mart. Do you think I could find one pair??? No. I did, however, find clothes for the boy, sports tops for jogging, and a few other things that brought the bill up to $163. At this point I'm thinking to myself, "Self, you are about the be hurt in some horrible way when you walk in the door with this stuff after you told your loving, sweet, understanding, husband that you were only getting jogging pants.". This is when I whipped out an old Walmart gift card that Jay has hanging around his wallet that I swipped earlier. WOOHOO!! That brought it down to a more reasonable $98. So, having saved myself I then took off to Bayshore to get my self a new outfit! :)

If at this point you are trying to figure out the logic about that one, please, call my husband, he is still trying to figure it out too.

Got to Old Navy and decided to face down my arch nemesis, THE CHANGE ROOM. The back story about this is the last time I was in this store I had a mild panic attack about trying on clothes. I have been losing weight for about 6 months now and had a small mental block about putting a "label" on myself. I am a size 16, or I am a size 14, whatever. This time I got both of those is about 6 different styles of pants and got in line. WOOHOO!!! I'm a size 14 again! Anyway, only bought one pair. Went to Payless and got a cheap pair of nice sandals. Mommy is Stylin'!!!

So, Monday dawns bright and clear! The birds are singing and I am going to be going to work in new pants! I use my fashion consultant/husband for which shirt. I ended up weeding out a few of the older ones into the garbage before settling and getting myself and the boy into work/daycare. I am feelin' good! I look good, am walking in new shoes, life couldn't be better.

And then it happens.

I glance down at my pants as I'm walking down the hall and I think I see a thread near the fly. THERE IS A FUCKING HOLE TWO INCHES LONG DIRECTLY UNDER THE FLY! I calmly go back to our lovely receptionist and ask her if she has tan thread with her black. Nope. I get back to my office and spread'em to show the girls what has happened to me...AGAIN! They tell me that if I stand normally you can't see the hole, so I think to myself, "Okay, I'm gonna be okay. Will get through today and get these home and sew them. It will all be fine.". I turn around to go back to my desk and a huge collective gasp rings out. The seam going between my legs and up to the waist band has pretty much split. The only thing that is preventing the world from seeing my, as Ted would say, naughty bits is a wee bit of thread. I lose it. I pick up my coat, my purse and say I'll be back in an hour. Back to Old Navy I go and show the first GIRL sales person my problem. She is immediately helpful...in telling me there are no more of my pants in the store. I say, "Okay, get every size 14 you can find and meet me in the change room in 5 minutes." I ended up getting instead pants a new skirt, new top and to top it all off, the skirt was a size 12, the first one of my adult life!

So, is this a happy ending? You decide.

Buh Bye

ps - it was kinda funny to have people walk by me in the hall looking at me and saying, "Weren't you wearing something different today?", and me reply back, "Nope, you must be thinking of some other day!"